One of the things I have tactfully not mentioned in my quest for independence is the matter of chemical dependency, and the fact that in my attempts to be less dependent on other things I'm not even discussing my lack of quitting attempts at smoking. I feel like with the increase in exercise it'll naturally follow. And that's the end of that topic.
Since Stimee's been gone, tonight is the first night I'm not being social. And it's not because of a lack of desire in that department, but because of the strong south wind bringing rain and snow right into my face as I walk the mile into town. I had planned on putting the new clamp on stimee's battery tonight but the weather isn't anything I want to spend much time in while doing so. I'm definitely going to do it tomorrow, though.
I like it that when he's gone I still go out and I still have friends over. In past relationships I got an incredible amount of anxiety if I were plunged into a social situation without my other half, even if i was just meeting them somewhere. The idea of walking into the bar and them not being there terrified me. I love it that this is not the case anymore. I've been out every night this week except yesterday, and that was because I had friends over for dinner last night. I really like the freedom of being able to go to the bar and sit with whomever I want and bounce around if I want and play pool with whomever i want-- whether my boyfriend is there with me or not.
This entry feels really weak but I felt like I had to post something every two days or else the blog would fall into a state of whatever it is you'd call it if i just stopped posting entries. In fact it doesn't just feel weak. It IS weak...
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