Today I feel the same unreal euphoria that I felt when I first got the call from ATA in Ketchikan offering me a job. I was working at Delmar and after I closed the store and called them back, I literally jumped for joy and sounded my barbaric yawps. It was the best news I'd heard in a really, really long time.
I feel that same way today, more than three years later. Today it was as I sat in the living room playing with Merlin that my phone went off. Looking at it I saw an unfamiliar Skagway 983 number. I took a deep breath. This was it, I knew. When I answered I immediately tried to gauge Bruce's voice. Did he sound excited? No, he sounded a little like he was getting ready to disappoint me. No! Wait! Just there, his voice lifted! He's going to... no, maybe he's not, is he going to make or break my week here?
And then it came. "I was just wondering if you were interested in working for us as an interpretive ranger this summer?" That moment matched the bliss that I experienced that day in Delmar in early 2007. It's all I can think about now. It's been all I could think about since my interview on Thursday, but I was trying to force my mind to other topics until I heard back for sure. When I interviewed for Admin Assistant at the clinic I talked about the job with everyone as if I already had it, and you can see where that got me.
This job means I no longer have to have the gnawing worry at the back of my mind: "what if i don't get the park service job?" "what other jobs do i need to apply for?" "how long before i know?" "what if..." It means I have a job that, by all descriptions, I'll love, working with people who, as far as I've met anyway, are pretty awesome.
I was telling a friend this evening how it gives me a torn feeling, going to work for the same company Stimee works for. "I want to try and be independent," I insisted. She gave me a look. "This isn't a town to be independent in," was her reply. As far as the job market goes, I'm feeling that she's right.
Stimee called today from Brazil while I was at work with a house emergency. And, guess what, sports fans-- I handled it on my own. Without even feeling a sense of fear or timidity as I did so, in a situation that normally would have thrown me through the roof or at least brought on frustrated tears.
I also handled Day One of running the kitchen on my own, without a hitch. Everything went perfectly. Like clockwork. I made deliveries to two people I've never met and one couple whose house I wasn't even sure was the right one, and I served five regulars at lunch. All by myself. I made everything for today-- chili, cornbread, salad, and fresh fruit-- as well as getting a head start on tomorrow's cole slaw and pudding. I was so on top of things that I had time to play Tetris.
Tomorrow... I'll be bringing along some of my Park Service literature to the kitchen to begin studying up on the history of Skagway in my free moments as it'll now be my job to educate people on it.
When I first moved to Skagway, I had so many moments that led me to thoughts of "Is this really my life? This isn't a dream? I'm really doing this?" Today was one of those days. There wasn't anything extraordinary about it; I didn't see whales or bears or climb a mountain or anything, but I ran a kitchen BY MYSELF (which is something I have relatively miniscule experience in and never saw myself doing for money); I took care of the house issue BY MYSELF (when a year ago I had a nervous breakdown every time I had to call my landlord); and I got a job that I chased down all BY MYSELF. And I didn't feel nervous or apprehensive about at least the first two. Is this really me? Is this the same me who, last winter, didn't even make eye contact with anyone because she was so self-conscious? This is me, reborn.
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again. From the depths of the earth you will again bring me up." -- Ps 71:20
"For God did not give us a spirit of fear (or timidity depending on translation), but of power, of love, and of self-discipline." -- Our team verse my senior year of volleyball
"...that God works all things together for the good of those who serve him." --Romans 8:28
(Yep, I have a BA in religious studies, and there's plenty more where that came from!)
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